Why You Keep Falling Back Into the Same Patterns (Even When You Know Better)

I used to be the queen of people-pleasing. I'd say yes when I meant no, overextend myself until I was exhausted, and constantly chase this moving target of "good enough" that never seemed to get any closer.

I tried everything. Therapy helped me understand the patterns. Self-help books gave me strategies. I learned about boundaries, practiced saying no, implemented all the productivity hacks. And for a while, things would get better.

Then I'd slip right back into the same old patterns.

Sound familiar?

Here's what I eventually figured out: I was treating the symptoms, not the cause. And the cause? The deeply held belief that I wasn't enough and I wasn't worthy.

The Problem With Surface Solutions

In my last podcast episode, I talked about how sometimes doing the bare minimum is not only okay, it's actually the healthiest choice you can make. But here's what I've noticed – our core beliefs around not being good enough or not being worthy usually try to convince us otherwise.

That voice that says "you should be doing more" or "everyone else is managing this better than you" isn't just annoying background noise. It's a symptom of something deeper.

For me, that "never enough" syndrome showed up as:

• People-pleasing (because if I made everyone else happy, maybe I'd finally be worthy)

• Perfectionism (because if I did everything flawlessly, maybe I'd finally be enough)

• Eventually, complete burnout (because you can't outrun a belief system)

I could learn all the boundary-setting techniques in the world, but until I changed my core belief about my own worth, those boundaries felt impossible to maintain. I'd set them, feel guilty, and then let them crumble.

What Actually Needs to Change

Here's the uncomfortable truth: if you're exhausted from trying to figure out why you can't just stop caring so much about what everyone thinks, it's probably not because you haven't found the right coping strategy yet.

It's because you're operating from a belief system that tells you your worth is conditional. That you have to earn it. That you're only as valuable as your productivity, your helpfulness, or your ability to keep everyone around you happy.

And no amount of self-care Sundays or affirmations in the mirror will stick if that underlying belief is still running the show.

I know this because I lived it. Until I did the actual work of shifting those core beliefs – really examining them, understanding where they came from, and actively replacing them with new beliefs – everything else was just a bandaid.

You Are Enough (But Here's Why That's So Hard to Believe)

I need you to know something: you are enough. You are worthy. Right now, exactly as you are, even with all the messy parts and the areas you're still figuring out.

But I also know that reading those words probably doesn't make you suddenly believe them. Because if it were that simple, you would have solved this a long time ago.

The reason it's so hard to believe you're enough isn't because there's something wrong with you. It's because those core beliefs are deeply embedded. They've been reinforced over years, maybe decades. They feel true, even when logically you know they shouldn't.

That's why I'm hosting a free workshop this Tuesday, October 7th at 12:00 PM EST called "The #1 Way to Overcome 'Never Enough' Syndrome and Reclaim Your Self-Worth."

What We'll Cover in the Workshop

This isn't going to be another "10 steps to better boundaries" session. I'm not interested in giving you more surface-level strategies that might work for a few weeks before you're back where you started.

Instead, we're going to talk about:

• Why that voice in your head that says "you're not good enough" keeps showing up, no matter how many personal development books you read

• What you need to understand about your core beliefs before you try another solution (this is the piece most approaches completely skip)

• The critical first step that will actually create lasting change instead of temporary relief

This workshop is for you if:

• You've tried therapy, self-help, maybe even medication, but you still feel like you're never enough

• You're exhausted from trying to figure out why you can't just stop caring so much about what everyone thinks

• You're smart and capable, but you still feel like you're failing at being human

Here's the Thing About This Work

I'm not going to pretend this is easy work. Examining and shifting your core beliefs takes courage and commitment. But it's also the most liberating work you'll ever do.

Because once you genuinely believe you're enough – not as an affirmation you repeat but don't believe, but as a truth you actually know in your bones – everything changes.

The people-pleasing drops away because you're no longer looking for external validation. The perfectionism loosens its grip because you're not trying to prove your worth anymore. The burnout becomes preventable because you're no longer running yourself into the ground trying to be "enough."

At the end of the workshop, I'll share information about The Enough Assessment – a call where we can explore whether my online course might be a good fit for you. But even if you never work with me, I want you to walk away from this workshop with a clearer understanding of why you keep falling into the same patterns and what actually needs to shift.

And here's the best part: you don't even have to attend live. Just register and you'll get the replay afterwards. Watch it whenever works for you – at your desk during lunch, while folding laundry, or late at night when everyone else is asleep and you finally have a moment to yourself.

There are people out there (including me) who genuinely want you to live your fullest life. Not the life where you're constantly proving yourself, but the life where you already know you're worthy of taking up space, saying no, and choosing yourself.

Register for the free workshop here – I'll see you Tuesday.

P.S. If you're thinking "this sounds great but I'll probably forget" or "I should wait until I have time to really focus on this," that's probably your "never enough" belief talking. Register now, even if you can only half-listen while doing something else. You're worth the 60 minutes.