Self-trust doesn't feel like I thought it would

This morning, I said no to someone who wanted to be a guest on my podcast.

I hesitated before I sent the email. I still feel a bit bad about it—I hate disappointing people. But I also feel relieved. Because I trusted what was right for me, my podcast, and my audience.

Here's what I'm learning: self-trust doesn't feel the way I thought it would.

I thought it would feel confident. Certain. Clear. But most of the time? It just feels uncomfortable.

It's choosing rest when you're "supposed" to be productive. It's saying no when you hate letting people down. It's sticking to your plan when everyone else seems to have a better one.

The difference is WHERE the discomfort lives.

When I trust myself, I'm uncomfortable about the situation. Saying no is hard. Resting when there's work to be done feels weird. Sticking to my plan when I see someone else's shiny offer makes me second-guess myself.

But when I DON'T trust myself, I'm uncomfortable about myself. Did I make the wrong choice? Am I doing this wrong? Should I have done what they wanted? What if I'm missing out? What if I'm not enough?

Self-trust doesn't eliminate discomfort. It just means I'm uncomfortable about the right things—the actual situation, not my worth.

That's the work. Not making it comfortable. Just noticing where the discomfort is coming from and deciding to trust myself anyway.

What would it look like to trust yourself this week, even if it's uncomfortable?

Speaking of uncomfortable:

My first podcast guest appearance was released this weekend. I talked with Marianne DeMello-Smith on her podcast Message in the Middle about burnout, boundaries, self-worth, and why so many of us know we're worthy but don't actually feel it.

I was nervous. I'm still nervous for you to listen to it. But I also think it's a conversation worth having.

If you want to listen, you can find it here: LISTEN